Six months ago was rough. I know I’ve said this before, but I’m going to say it again: I was feeling totally lost. I had spent the summer hustling my buns off, taking on as many photo sessions as I could manage, and it almost killed me. It was totally unsustainable, and I got sucked into the mentality that I had to start my business a certain way and I had to keep up and keep pushing myself. Even though I told myself a million times that I shouldn’t compare my beginning to someone else’s middle, I totally was.
And here’s the kicker: I can’t even say if it was making me happy because I was too busy running myself ragged. Do I like taking portraits of other people? I think I do. I’d like to give it another shot at a more sustainable pace. But what I’ve really learned is that I like having multiple work projects and revenue streams. I’m not the kind who puts all my eggs in one basket. In six months, that’s the biggest business takeaway — diversification.
But back to six months ago. I was feeling lost and unsure how to proceed. If you’ve ever poured your heart and soul into something and suddenly stopped, you know what I mean. All of the sudden there’s all this free time, and it’s totally uncomfortable. I also felt this way after finishing my Skillshare class. It’s all this hustle-hustle-hustle, and then the abrupt stop.
The wheels in my head started turning and I made the big decision to start blogging again because I’m a writer and a photographer, and blogging is about writing and photography. I had also just read Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly, and felt so strongly that blogging was one way I could show up and be seen.
Still, I felt like I needed a platform, somewhere to stand and get my bearings, something that would help guide me in my next steps. Enter 33 Things. The day before my 33rd birthday, I typed up a list of 33 things I hoped to do before I turned 34. I pressed publish the next day. I had hoped it would structure my year or, at the very least, give me fodder for blogging.
Fast forward six months and it’s time for a check-in. Here are the numbers:
- 5 things on the list are completed
- 6 things are in progress
- 7 things can only be done in warm weather (so they were a no-go the last six months)
- 14 things have slipped off my radar (the last thing is to make a list for next year — we’ll see)
Of the things that I haven’t been actively working toward, 7 are craft related. So they are either easily doable (like making macrame plant hangers or learning calligraphy) or massively huge and probably aren’t going to get done (like making a quilt or cross stitch of my family). I’m kindof on the fence about crafting this year.
So, where does this leave me? Should I analyze what I’ve done so far and kick it into high gear? Maybe I should, but I’m not going to. I’m learning not to sweat it, none of it. This list is an awesome list of things I really do want to do, but it’s arbitrary and I need to be flexible.
Perhaps, instead of calling them goals, I should call this a list of guidelines, a map of where I’d like to go if I can choose the path. But here’s the secret: All too often the path takes you off the map and somewhere else entirely, somewhere you were meant to go but didn’t foresee in your plan. And I want to stay open to that and all the possibilities that might be out there. I want to have goals or guidelines or whatever they are, but I also want to say yes to new opportunities and follow what inspires me.
So, if I don’t get to all the things on this list before the next six months is up, oh well. I’ll get to them eventually, or not, and it’ll all work out in the end.
One cliched mantra that I hold to these days is “Progress, not perfection.”
As long as I look back and see that I am moving forward, I’m trying (trying!) not to care how I got there. I think your need to frame your last few months with a list was perfect – but I’m glad you are willing to step away from it and let it go if it no longer serves you the way you need to. I’m trying to decide the same with my 2015 Book Project – do I need to continue to be so rigid with myself? I’m not sure.
Thank you for sharing your lovely thoughts – and photos! – with the world. Yours is quickly becoming one of my favorite spaces on the internet.
Yes! I can see that with your book project, that maybe it was just a springboard to something else and not quite lighting you up the way you had hoped. I’m right there with you! Progress is so good. Doing something (anything!) is good. But sometimes we don’t have to be so rigid, and I totally think that’s okay. Trying is better than doing nothing. 🙂
“All too often the path takes you off the map and somewhere else entirely, somewhere you were meant to go but didn’t foresee in your plan.”
I love this–you don’t want to miss a fantastic opportunity because you were too busy concentrating on the interstate to see all the billboards!
My best friend in high school used to say that we weren’t really supposed to achieve our dreams–dreams were the fuel to get us to where we were supposed to be–what we were meant to achieve. Well, it made sense after several beers.
I like what your friend had to say (with no beers in me right now!). I think you have to take a step toward something to figure out where you’re really meant to go. But if you never step out, you’ll never find out where that is. xo!