How (and Why) I Get in the Photo

I’ve never really minded having my photograph taken. I have moments, like everyone else, when I see a photo of myself and think, That’s what I look like? But most of the time, I’m okay with it. We are much harder on ourselves than others would ever be.

Over the summer, I watched a video with photographer Sue Bryce, who specializes in glamour photography and making women look and feel beautiful. She talked about a time in her life when she felt awful about herself and refused to let anyone take any photos of her. Years went by, and there’s no evidence of her. She’s had people tell her about their mothers dying and leaving behind only a photo or two, mothers who didn’t feel good about how they looked and refused the camera whenever it was pulled out. Their children were heartbroken to have few (or sometimes no) photographs to remember them by.

I am a big believer in getting in the photo, especially photos with your family. No matter what you look like or how you feel about yourself, you are here. And you don’t have to post every photo on the internet (trust me!).

Since I’m the one holding the camera 99% of the time, it can be a little tricky to get into the photo. I have options:

• Hold my giant DSLR out in front of me as far as my arm can stretch (usually not far enough, especially if trying to get more than one person in the photo)
• Hand the camera over (usually to my husband) with settings in place, and carefully explain what I’m hoping he’ll shoot
• Shoot our reflection in the mirror
• Use the iPhone — The lens is wide enough that an outstretched arm can get two to three people in the photo easily. It’s also handy because it’s always nearby.
• Set the timer on the big camera, set it on a sturdy surface, press the button, and run into the shot

This last option is the one I use most often. It does require patience, diligence, and some heavy breathing while running back and forth. But it’s not all that hard.

What I do is figure out where I want everyone to stand, then find a surface to place the camera. I get the camera metered, set (including putting it on timer mode — see your camera manual), and focused. If I need to, I explain to everyone what I’m hoping to achieve, instructions like “Don’t feel like you have to look at the camera” or “Tickle each other.” Sometimes those instructions are yelled in a breathless panic as I grab a kiddo and get ready for the timer to go off.

I have my camera set to take three photos when the timer goes off, so I get three quick photos and a couple of choices. Anyone with little kids knows they aren’t always cooperative, so it can help to get as many photos as you can quickly. It also helps to accept that the photo is not going to be perfect. Can I say that again? The photo, most likely, will not be perfect. That’s okay. The important thing is that everyone will be in it, including you.

Another option, one I don’t have, is to use a remote. Having one would eliminate all the running back and forth, but also all the excitement that comes from it. I kind of like the running around and all the joyful anticipation it brings (as long as it doesn’t go on too long — usually two tries and everyone’s done). I also have the TimerCam app on my phone, and use it occasionally if there’s a certain shot I have in my head that I want to take with the phone. Honestly, I don’t use it that much.

Not to beat a dead horse here, but I feel like getting myself into the photo is important and awesome. I hope to leave my kids lots of photo albums that give a sense of our family — our entire family not just them. I want them to know what I looked like, and how I loved them and their father, and that we really are happy together. Because it’s true.