Writing from the Heart

I have sat down to write this post several times over the last few days. The refrain playing through my head is, write from the heart. I’m not sure I even know what that means right now. Write from the heart. How?

I keep telling myself to be fearless. Just go ahead and be fearless already. Write what you have to write and keep moving along. But what I have to write, what I have to say, feels like a muddy mess in my heart. Everything in there is jumbled and well-intentioned and feels overgrown like a weedy patch where you might find a few prickers.

When I first sat down in October, bright with anticipation over what writing a blog might mean for me again after a few years away, I didn’t have a plan except to be all in. I wanted to show up and be seen, and I’m happy to say I’ve shown up, I’ve been seen. That commitment has brought me so much.

Most recently, I was asked to teach a few more photography classes on Skillshare, which I am over the moon about. It’s exciting and humbling. I’m having to be more fearless than ever. As I considered this opportunity, I kept thinking, how can I not do this? I need to embrace it. This is where my work is taking me.

It’s also taking me more into the world of stock photography, having been invited into a few programs where I’ve been selling my work. I’m really excited about this new venture too, even though most of the work is behind the scenes.All of this is so good and, honestly, what I’ve wanted. And now I’m here and it’s here, and I’m reevaluating what needs my attention. I want to continue writing in this space, not so much because I want to keep giving to my audience but because writing here is for me. It is where I slow down and tap into what my heart is saying. It’s where I get real about what’s going on behind the scenes, what I’ve learned, what conversations I want to start.

But here’s the thing: I think I need to let go of the blog a bit. No editorial calendar. No set schedule. No pressure. I want to write from the heart when my heart has something to say.

For now, I need to focus on research and outlines and being poised in front of the camera. I need to take photographs every day and keep doing the creative work that keeps me going. I will still be here working, creating, photographing, and sharing. It may not be in this space every Monday and Thursday morning, but I’ll still be here, tucking those heartfelt thoughts into the hem of my new work. My heart still has a lot to say.

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I have an essay up at Makes You Mom on learning to see my children without a camera. You can read it here.

A while back I also wrote an essay for Art House Blog on reading fifty-two books last year. You can read that one here.